Take Me Home
by nofearonlylove
Summary: "That is your problem, little girl. You DON'T care, do you? Don't you realize you could be ONE hit away from being buried in a pine box? This addiction, this battle that you have fought, that I have fought with you, it's a joke to you, isn't it?" - A filled request for StonerSammi. Oneshot. Please R&R!


**AN: Well here I am with more Nicky & Red love for you all! This was written as an answer to a request from ****_StonerSammi_** **in which she wanted a story where Red catches Nicky with drugs. I hope I have fulfilled her request well, and special thanks to my bean,** ** _Johanna-002_** **! I took a couple of lines from one of our many chats and literally copy and pasted them into this story, so she deserves all the credit. PLEASE go see her work, it's amazing! LOVE YOU BEAN. Thank you for all your encouragement and help!**

 **If you enjoy this piece, I would really appreciate a review!**

It was a beautiful, spring day. Red was in a good mood. She even found herself humming occasionally, something she couldn't remember doing in a long time.

There wasn't too much to be optimistic about in Litchfield. Red always tried to make good of whatever she had been dealt with. She had her "family", and she liked taking care of them, keeping them out of trouble. It gave her a purpose. She would be the first to admit that a lot of what she did here, benefited her. She could be selfish and ruthless. But that was how you survived prison. Being nice wouldn't have gotten her far. Although there were a few who were lucky to see the compassionate side of Red, and those were the people who were the most loyal to her.

She was walking around, hands in her pockets, pensive but in a good mood. As she headed back to her bunk she could hear light conversation. She smiles when she sees Nicky, Chapman, Frieda and Norma, chattering away, Nicky as usual, teasing and grinning mischievously. She walks into the cube fully and sits down beside Nicky on the bunk, quickly joining in on their banter and conversation.

Red found herself staring at Nicky, proud of how far her girl had come. From that night in the bathroom during her horrible withdrawal, to now. It made Red's heart swell with love for the kid, as it so often did whenever she was near her.

Suddenly, Vause's voice was carrying from the other side of the room, calling for Piper. Alex's voice was quickly joined by Lorna's, and Red chuckled when she saw that shit-eating grin on Nicky's face at the sound of her lover calling to her.

Piper leaped up and so did Nicky, but she needed to get her boots on, first. She had taken them off to relax for a little while with everything asked Norma to pass them to her.

Norma smiled sheepishly and handed them to her, but Nicky didn't catch one of them in time and the right boot fell to the floor. Nicky watched in horror as a small baggie filled with an all-too familiar white substance spilled out from the inside of it.

Suddenly the silence in the cube was deafening. She looked up and found Red's eyes, who were quickly darting from her face to the baggie, then back to her face again.

Red stood up, quickly and with a purpose. Her voice was dangerously low, her accent almost rendering her words unrecognizable. "Everyone get out."

They all left the room, except for Nicky who knew damn well that when Red said she wanted everyone to leave, she meant everyone but her. She quickly grabbed her boots, and the baggie, and stood up to face Red. She swallowed hard, seeing the frightened and hard expression on Red's face. She seemed to be shaking with fury.

"Ma, listen...I know this looks bad, but..."

Red suddenly reaches down and snatches the substance from her, and waves it frantically in front of Nicky's face. Her voice rises, and she looks Nicky straight in the eye when she says "What are you doing, huh? Is this EVER going to stop!?"

Nicky takes a deep breath, trying hard not to be intimidated by the older woman. "Red, this isn't what it looks like, okay? Listen..."

Red shakes her head. "No, Nicky! No! I don't care how you got this, or WHERE you got it, or WHY you have it!" She clears her throat, trying hard to calm down. Her voice lowers some. "How long, Nicky? How long have you been using again?"

Nicky shakes her head frantically. "I haven't! Look, I found it okay! A couple of days ago, and I just..."

Red's eyes widen. "A couple of days ago?! You should have brought it to ME the minute you found it! What were you planning on doing with it? Keeping it in your boot so you can stare at it once in awhile!? Jesus Christ!"

Nicky opened her mouth to answer, but found she couldn't. Red just stood there, and stared at her. There was at least a minute of complete silence between them, and then Nicky finally said. "Red, I'm sorry. I didn't take it and I wasn't going to. I can't say anything else but that. Take it with a grain of salt, I don't care anymore."

Red watched with wide eyes as Nicky started to leave. She quickly went over to block Nicky's way, and forced her back into the cube, pushing her down onto her bunk. She bent down then, and grabbed forcibly onto Nicky's shoulders. "That is your problem, little girl. You DON'T care, do you!? Don't you realize you could be ONE hit away from being buried in a pine box!? This addiction, this battle that you have fought, that I have fought with you, it's a joke to you, isn't it?"

Nicky narrowed her eyes. "That's bullshit and you, more than anyone, should know that! Fuck you, Red!"

Before Red realizes what she is doing, she smacks Nicky across the face, hard. Her hand stings, and though Nicky's eyes instantly filled with tears at the contact, and her hand reaches up to cover the place where Red had just struck her, she can't find herself to feel guilty for what she has just done.

They are silent again, and Red sits down beside her. Her back is aching from bending down, from the stress. She sighs and leans back against the wall. Nicky is still holding her cheek with her hand. Red sighs and says. "You deserved that, you know."

Nicky just looks at her, defiance in her eyes. Red leans her head back, and closes her eyes. "You want to get sent to max? Fine. That's fine. Maybe you will be able to get out of there eventually. And maybe...I'll still be here for you. But did you ever stop to think that there is more at stake here?" She opens her eyes, to see if she has Nicky's attention. When she sees that she has, she continues. "Did you ever stop to think how I would feel, or how Lorna would feel, to watch as you slowly succumb to this? This isn't just about you, Nicky and it never has been."

Nicky nods, and looks at Red, wiping away her tears with her sleeves. "Red, listen. I'm not using again. And I won't. I promise."

Red smiles sadly, and reaches over to put her hand over Nicky's. "Who are you promising? Me, or yourself?"

Nicky just shrugs.

Red sighs deeply, and sits up to move herself closer to her. "Answer me."

Nicky shakes her head. "Red, listen. You know that if I hadn't met you, I would never have gotten clean. I would have never STAYED clean. You know that."

Red shakes her head. "Little girl, that isn't what I want. For you to stay clean because of ME, or because of anyone else. Nicky, if you can't stay clean, or if you don't want to stay clean, for yourself, then you will never TRULY be rid of your addiction."

Nicky shakes her head. "But I will, Red. Because I have you."

Red reaches over to put Nicky's hair behind her ears. "That's right, you do have me. But what if I wasn't here, then what, hmm?"

Nicky shrugs again, somewhat uncomfortably. "Well, you ARE here so what's the point in thinking about that? I know I can stay clean and stay away from this shit with you here. Don't make me think about an alternative, all right?"

Red shakes her head. "No, it isn't all right, Nicky. I know that you love me. I know that you want me to be proud of you. But I'm a lot older than you, and lived through more shit than you have seen in your entire life, behind these walls and beyond them. I won't be around forever. So you better figure out how to survive without me, because like hell am I going to be the one who has to bury you first. It's going to be the other way around. Do you understand?"

Red's words seem to crush Nicky. "Don't talk that way. You aren't going _anywhere_."

Nicky sounds so young, and so afraid when she says the words, that Red almost regrets saying them, even though they were necessary. To soften the blow she squeezes her hand gently. "I don't mean just outliving you Nicky. I don't have much time left on my sentence." _A truth that haunts them both._ "I won't always be with you," Her hands cup her cheeks, "but I need you alive, okay? I need you to stay alive, to stay well. I need you to be able to come home to me when the time comes."

Nicky's childlike eyes light up when she hears those words. "Really?"

Red nods, and suddenly Nicky throws her arms around her neck, and she bursts into tears. She couldn't speak. It was too much. Nicky knew that Red was getting released soon, but tried hard not to think about it. For Red to talk about her eventual death, and then her imminent release, was enough to break Nicky. But then to tell her that she wanted her to come and stay with her when she got out, was overwhelming.

Red holds her there for a few minutes, playing with the unruly mess of curls. Finally, Nicky pulls back. "Okay. If I see any of this shit again, I'll bring it straight to you. I promise."

Red nods, a wry smirk on her face. "Okay. And when I'm gone..."

Nicky finishes the sentence for her. "...I'll bring it to Norma. Or Frieda. Or Lorna. I won't go backwards."

Red sighs deeply, knowing that there has been enough heartache for them for one afternoon. "Okay, _malyshka_. I believe you." She reaches over to grab her crocheted blanket, and leans back against the wall. "My back is killing me and my feet are cold."

Nicky lovingly rolls her eyes. She grabs Red's pillow and stands it up against the wall, fluffing it for her before Red leans back. Nicky then covers her legs and feet with the blanket. "Better?"

Red nods. "Much." She beckonds Nicky closer. "Sit with me for awhile, hmm?"

Nicky moves closer and then lies down, resting her head on Red's lap. Red immediately starts playing with her hair. Nicky closes her eyes, trying hard to get the last 15 minutes out of her head.

Red suddenly breaks the silence. "I'm sorry I hit you."

Nicky reaches over and clasps Red's hand in her own. "It's okay, Ma. I know you only did it to smack some sense into me, 'cause ya love me."

Red sighs, her eyes filling. Nicky had forever changed her life. "And you'll never know how much. _Ya lyublyu vas vsem moim serdtsem._ "

Nicky looks up at her questioningly. "What's that mean?"

Red wipes away a tear and sniffles, smiling down at her girl. "I love you with all my heart."

 **FIN.**


End file.
